The Referral Question I Ask Every Week

By Justin Stoddart

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to join Michael Maher on his podcast. Michael is the author of The Seven Levels of Communication and one of the most respected voices in the referral space. As we were preparing for the conversation, he summarized my work in a way that immediately stuck with me.

He said, “So what you do is help people get more referrals from fewer people.”

I remember thinking, that’s exactly right.

What struck me afterward wasn’t just how well he articulated it. It was the realization that I’ve been asking myself that question for years without even consciously recognizing it. Every week, in one form or another, I’m asking:

How do I get more referrals from fewer people?

For anyone building a relationship-based business, that question has the power to completely change how you think about growth.

Better Is Better Than More

Many professionals have been conditioned to believe that growth comes from volume. More leads. More contacts. More outreach. More names in the database.

The challenge is that lead-generation thinking often creates a constant cycle of chasing, qualifying, and competing. It keeps us focused on quantity rather than quality.

Referral-based businesses operate differently.

The most successful professionals I know aren’t trying to become known by everyone. They’re becoming indispensable to a handful of highly valuable relationships. Instead of asking how to generate more opportunities, they’re asking how to deepen the right connections.

That’s why I believe better is better than more.

When you focus on getting more referrals from fewer people, your attention naturally shifts toward identifying the individuals who are already positioned to create meaningful opportunities for you.

For real estate professionals, that often means looking upstream. Who is meeting with your ideal client shortly before they need a real estate expert? Financial advisors, estate attorneys, divorce professionals, builders, lenders, and other trusted advisors frequently occupy that position.

Those relationships are often worth far more than a larger database of weak connections.

Find the People Who Open Doors

One of the best examples of this principle comes from a friend who owns a custom closet company with her husband.

For years, she encouraged her sales team to pursue larger opportunities beyond individual homeowners. Eventually, she developed a relationship with a project manager at a luxury home builder. Today, when a homeowner wants custom closets throughout a new build, that project manager simply makes the introduction.

She competed for that business once.

Now she receives referral after referral.

That’s the difference between continually hunting for opportunities and creating a relationship that consistently opens doors.

As professionals, we should regularly evaluate where these opportunities exist within our own industries. Who already has trust? Who already has access? Who is already having conversations with the people we most want to serve?

Answering those questions often reveals a much more efficient path to growth.

Solve a Problem Before Asking for Referrals

The second part of the equation is equally important.

Too many professionals approach referral relationships with a simple request: “Please send business my way.”

That rarely works.

Strong referral partnerships are built when both parties benefit. Instead of leading with what you need, start by understanding the problems they are trying to solve.

In the example above, the builder had homeowners walking through beautiful homes and feeling underwhelmed by the closet systems. My friend’s company solved that problem. They enhanced the client experience while creating an additional revenue opportunity for the builder.

Everyone wins.

The same principle applies in real estate. The best referral relationships emerge when you help another professional serve their clients more effectively, reduce friction, increase trust, or improve outcomes.

When you become part of the solution, referrals become a natural byproduct of the relationship.

A Question Worth Asking Every Week

If I could encourage you to adopt one habit, it would be this:

Set aside a few minutes each week and ask yourself, How can I get more referrals from fewer people?

Not by expanding your prospect list. Not by increasing your advertising spend. Not by chasing more leads.

Instead, focus on identifying the right relationships and creating more value within them.

Over time, you’ll build a business fueled by trust, advocacy, and repeat introductions from people who genuinely want to see you succeed.

That’s a very different kind of growth. And in my experience, it’s the kind that lasts.

If you’re curious about how referral-ready your business really is, take a few minutes to complete the Referral Score assessment at BuiltOnReferrals.com. You’ll receive practical insights on where your referral strategy stands today and where you can strengthen it. As a bonus, you’ll also get access to The Upstream Model in both digital and audio formats so you can start identifying the relationships that can have the biggest impact on your business.

At ProInsight, we help professionals build a referral engine for their business. Apply here to see if becoming a Homeowner Concierge™ Select Professional is available in your area.