How I Use AI to Be More Relevant and Valuable in Relationships

By Justin Stoddart

Introduction

There’s a version of using AI that I’ve warned against. It’s the version where you outsource the relationship itself — where a bot sends your emails, schedules your follow-ups, and writes your check-ins while you move on to something else. That’s not relationship-building. That’s the illusion of it. And just like in a marriage, if you hand off the most important parts to someone — or something — else, don’t be surprised when the connection withers.

But here’s what I am doing with AI, and it’s having a real impact: I’m using it to walk into every conversation more prepared, more relevant, and more genuinely valuable than I could be on my own.

That’s the distinction worth making. AI in the back office, so you can be more present and more human in the front office.

A Real Example: Preparing for a High-Stakes Introduction

Recently, one of our current investors connected me — via a three-way email thread — with a senior leader at Wells Fargo who specializes in mergers and acquisitions in the middle market. That warm introduction mattered. Trust travels through relationships, and when someone who already has credibility opens a door for you, you’d better walk through it well.

Now, I had two choices. I could show up to that call and say, “Tell me about what you do,” and spend the first twenty minutes gathering information I could have known going in. Or I could use the tools available to me, do my homework, and walk in ready to have a real conversation.

I chose the latter — and AI made it dramatically easier.

I found him on LinkedIn, followed his activity, and clicked on a recent article about his move from JP Morgan to Wells Fargo. From there, I opened Google’s Gemini — built right into the Chrome browser — and started asking simple but strategic questions. What exactly is “middle market”? What does that mean in terms of company size and deal scope? What would be relevant to highlight when reaching out to someone in his position about an early-stage prop tech startup?

The answers came quickly. Middle market typically refers to companies doing somewhere between $10 million and $1 billion in revenue. This banker deals with mergers and acquisitions at the upper end of that range. We’re a startup. That gap matters — and knowing it changed how I would frame the entire conversation.

Key Takeaways

1. Warm Introductions Are Still the Gold Standard — Prepare for Them Accordingly

A referral or three-way introduction transfers trust in a way that cold outreach simply can’t. But a warm introduction is only as powerful as how you show up once the door is opened. If someone vouches for you and you walk in unprepared, you’ve wasted their credibility alongside your own.

AI doesn’t replace the human who opened the door. It helps you walk through it with your head held high.

2. The Research Doesn’t Have to Take Long

Many professionals skip pre-call research because it feels time-consuming. With tools like Gemini, Claude, or ChatGPT integrated into your browser, it doesn’t have to be. Open LinkedIn. Open Instagram. Open a news article. Ask a question. In five minutes, you can go from knowing nothing about someone to having a clear picture of what’s happening in their world right now — and what might genuinely matter to them.

For the Wells Fargo meeting, I didn’t spend an hour researching. I asked a couple of targeted questions, got a fast education, and walked away with a concrete framing for how to position my company in a way that was relevant to his world — not just mine.

3. Unique Relevance Is the New Competitive Advantage

Think about what it feels like when someone reaches out to you and it’s clear they’ve been paying attention — to your business, your recent wins, your challenges. It’s rare. And it’s memorable.

Now think about what it would mean for your listing appointments, your prospecting calls, your partnership conversations — if you consistently showed up that way. Not with a generic pitch, but with something specific and timely. A comment on a post. A question about a recent milestone. An idea that connects directly to where they are right now.

That’s not manipulation. That’s care — expressed through preparation.

4. LinkedIn and Instagram Are Research Tools, Not Just Social Channels

One of our clients — a great agent out of Golden, Colorado — had no idea I’d used AI to inform how I reached out to him. Before contacting him, I opened his Instagram, let Gemini read through his recent posts, and asked: What would be an interesting way to engage with Jonathan today?

What came back wasn’t just generic talking points. It was specific, current, and relevant to what he was actually sharing. One insight: he was engaging with his local Chamber of Commerce. The AI’s prompt to me wasn’t just “mention the Chamber” — it was a jumping-off point for a genuinely useful idea about turning those connections into something more strategic.

That’s the difference between showing up and showing up well.

5. Think of AI as a Team, Not Just a Tool

AI consultant Phil Stringer puts it well: AI is no longer a tool. It’s a team. That framing changes how you approach it. You’re not just using software — you’re managing a capable resource that can do background work while you focus on what only you can do: build real relationships with real people.

Let AI draft the email. Let AI summarize the LinkedIn profile. Let AI suggest the framing. Then you make it personal. You review it, refine it, and bring your own judgment and warmth to the final version. That’s not cheating — that’s working smart.

The Timeless Foundation Underneath the Modern Tools

At Built on Referrals — and in everything we’re building at ProInsight — the premise is the same: modern business, timeless foundation. Technology changes fast. Relationships, when built with genuine care and intention, endure.

The professionals who will thrive in the years ahead aren’t the ones who automate their relationships away. They’re the ones who use today’s tools to show up more prepared, more relevant, and more human than the competition. They walk into every conversation having done the work — and their clients, partners, and prospects feel it.

That’s the edge. And it’s available to all of us right now.

If you’re curious about where your referral-based business stands — and what it would take to strengthen it — take two minutes at builtonreferrals.com. You’ll receive a referral score out of 100, along with personalized steps to improve.

At ProInsight, we help professionals build a referral engine for their business. Apply here to see if becoming a Homeowner Concierge™ Select Professional is available in your area.